I had some interesting conversations with my ex Ramiro over the past couple weeks that proved how close we still are, how well we still know each other despite having split almost three years ago. It occurred to me not for the first time that I don’t like calling him my “ex” because the word seems to have a certain negative connotation. However, calling him a “friend” is woefully inadequate. He’s much more than just a friend, but no longer a partner, so what the hell do I call him?

I know, some of you are probably rolling your eyes thinking, “here he goes again with his goddamn terminology.” But I know I’m not the only one who doesn’t feel right calling certain exes either “ex” or “friend”. Neither word truly captures the essence of what our relationship has become.

A couple days ago a friend was over at my place and we were playing around trying to find a more suitable word for that ex who is still around in your life. We thought we were being clever when we came up with “frex”, but it turns out there are already entries for the word in the Urban Dictionary with the same meaning.

I haven’t been in a relationship with very many people, but there is only one person I dated whom I would describe as an ex, a person I no longer care to have in my life. There is another with whom I lost contact long ago once I moved to another country, but were we to see each other I think we would still be on good terms since it was an amicable breakup. And then there is Ramiro, someone to whom I can still spill my guts, who is always there anytime I need someone and who knows he can always talk to me (though he’ll also laugh and tell you that he often gets voicemail and has to wait for me to call back–he teases me incessantly about it).

What do you all call those exes who are more than friends?

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