The Stigma against Dating Bi Guys

There’s a conversation about bisexuality that I’m really tired of having. The conversation deals with what dating a bi guy entails, and I feel way too many people have the wrong impression, or at least one that doesn’t apply to me or many of the bi guys (and girls, for that matter) I’ve spoken to about this.

The conversation generally starts off with someone saying they can’t date a bi guy because you never know if he’s going to leave you for the other sex.

You need only utter this sentence and internally I’ll want to bitch slap you.

The argument in favour of this broadly bogus belief is that if you’re a guy with a gay guy or a girl with a straight guy then you can defend yourself if your man shows interest in some other guy or girl because you’re the same sex as the competition. If, however, you’re with a bi guy and he shows interest in the other sex, you’re fucked because you just don’t have the parts to compete. This is bullshit.

I’m bi precisely because I’m sexually compatible with both sexes, because I have no qualms with being involved with a man or a woman. But that doesn’t mean that I’m going to leave a guy I’m dating just for pussy or a girl I’m dating for cock. If you’re dating a bi guy who is superficial enough to do this, then be glad that you got rid of his shallow ass, but don’t condemn all bi guys for it because the many of us aren’t like that.

Besides, how is this any different from a gay guy leaving his boyfriend for a guy with a bigger cock or a straight guy leaving his girlfriend for a girl with bigger tits? You have just as much room to compete with the other person in this situation as you would with a bi guy leaving your for the other sex. Unless you get surgical enhancements. But if you get enhancements just to keep a guy then maybe you’re just as superficial as the guy you want to keep, and then I’d say you probably deserve each other.

Being bi means that you’re open to a sexual connection with either sex. But that doesn’t mean that the relationship is any less based on the partner as a person than a relationship with someone who is only sexually attracted to your sex. I don’t date someone because they are a guy or a girl; I date someone because the person interests me as a person and I want to get to know them better as an individual, not as a gender.

A guy can be a superficial douche whether he is straight, gay, or bi, the bi douche just has a bigger selection to choose from. We as a society don’t stigmatize monosexual guys just because some of them are shallow assholes, so why are bisexual guys cursed by the flightiness of the few?

If he’s a nice guy and he likes you, then give him a chance if the feeling is mutual. It really shouldn’t make a difference what sex(es) he’s sexually attracted to because of all the people he could have shown an interest in—and even monosexual guys have a large enough pool—his compass pointed to you.

3 thoughts on “The Stigma against Dating Bi Guys

  1. I think the insecurity comes from the fact that who ever you are with cannot fulfill all your desires. I’ve seen this a lot as a bi woman as well, and I think thats what it is.
    Now, why it matters I dont know, I know that i’m not going to cheat on someone… So if we break up, its not going to be because “I miss dick” or what ever, its going to be because our relationship isn’t good any more…

    1. Hi Lauren, thanks for the comment! I agree with you. The irony of that prevalent insecurity is that I don’t expect/want/need my partner to fulfill all my desires. I think it’s a bit unhealthy to expect one person to provide everything I need. If only more people accepted that it’s normal for one partner to not be able to fulfill all the other partner’s needs, a lot of issues in relationships might be resolved.

  2. Interesting articles on information like this is a great find. It’s like finding a treasure. I appreciate how you express your many points and share in your views. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *