Thoughts and Conversations at the Bar

Last night I was out at a party with a bunch of friends and had some interesting conversations. One friend jokingly chastised me for not having had time to post anything new all week, so I figured I would appease him and share what happened yesterday.

When I first got to the bar I made my way over to a couple of friends and started chatting. Two other dudes none of us knew elbowed past us at some point to get to the bar, where they remained for the next little bit, every once in awhile bumping into us or people to either side of them. All of a sudden one of them turned to me and my friend, interrupting our conversation to ask, “do you like pussy or ass?”

The other guy made some comment about that bar maybe not being the best place to ask such a question, but his friend was undeterred and repeated his question. My friend answered that he liked pussy, and I replied that I liked both. It didn’t even occur to me to ask them why they had asked or what their answer was, but James was on the ball and asked whether they liked pussy or ass.

“We’re both primarily active but are passive from time to time.” James didn’t know what the fuck they were talking about, and that wasn’t the answer I had expected from them at all. “That’s cool,” I said, “I’m definitely more active.” James just looked at me with a look of confusion, so I explained that the terms “active” and “passive” describe the act of fucking or being fucked, respectively. And then the two guys left, and James and I pondered what had motivated them to ask the question in the first place.

Later I got into a conversation with an acquaintance about men’s and women’s rights. But I think I’ll leave that for another post since I also just finished reading the document on women’s suffrage that I mentioned in a previous post.

And then at some point another friend started discussing threesomes with me. I’m not even sure how we got on the subject, but it raised a question that I just don’t get, namely why it is that so many straight men who have a threesome with another guy and a girl – where it’s clear that the guys are only playing with the girl and not with each other – freak the fuck out if they come into even the slightest contact with the other dude. To the point where they freak if their knee brushes the other dude’s. I truly don’t get that at all, but I also acknowledge that as someone who is interested in males and females I am not in a position to understand where such straight guys are coming from.

My friend, who is straight, hadn’t ever been in such a situation and thus couldn’t really answer my question, but he thought it wouldn’t be a problem for him if he were in threesome with a guy and a girl. And so I ask my straight male readers: what exactly is the big deal about brushing against the other guy? Doesn’t worrying about something so banal make the whole threesome experience generally more stressful than is necessary? If all parties are agreed that the two guys aren’t playing with each other, then why get your panties in a bunch because of a slight touch? To me it seems like cutting off your nose to spite your face just to reinforce one’s heterosexuality. I really want to understand, so please enlighten me.

I also had an interesting conversation with another guy about our individual flirting habits, but I’ll save that for a separate post as well because it’s something I’ve wanted to write about anyway.

I know I said I wanted to write more last week, but work just didn’t permit it. This coming week is going to be full of work, so I’m not sure how much I’ll be able to write, but I’ll try to post something. Hope you all have a great week!

2 thoughts on “Thoughts and Conversations at the Bar

  1. Now I know I am not a hetersexual guy but I am married to one and have in my sexual journey encountered the type of situation that you have described. In fact there is one gentleman we are friends with who is a seasoned swinger (10 years plus experience) who doesn’t get worked up about the slightest touch but is definitely uncomfortable with another man getting anywhere near his penis!

    Personally I share your thoughts. Why is it such a big deal. My husband and one of my very regular playmates who also identifies as straight share your amusement. Although these two gentlemen have been known to fondle each other during play and have toyed with the idea of giving each other oral sex so maybe they are not qualified to comment. BTW both myself and the other guys wife find this whole thing incredibly HOT!

    Perhaps if said straight guys realised that for many women watching two men interacting sexually is as arousing as watching two women fucking is for them perhaps their ideas might change.

    1. Since your husband and the playmate identify as straight, it would be interesting to hear why the occasional fondle is acceptable. Sometimes I wonder if the guys who most object to any sort of touching are the ones who want to try it most, but that seems too easy.

      And I definitely also wonder if straight men would be more likely to try it if women who like watching were more vocal about it. It would definitely be a nice reversal from the usual business of women trying things because men find it hot.

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